Season 4: “I have everything I’ve ever wanted, and it’s all on my own terms.”
Painful | via Tumblr on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/81451755/via/unloupquicrie
Today, I had a better day with my emotions. I haven’t felt nearly as fragile and that’s huge seeing as to how I felt on Sunday and Monday. He deleted me off Facebook. Dick move, yeah? But to me, it was also a trigger for me to move on. It helped me realize that I deserve better than a guy who’ll treat me this way. This whole charade also taught me a few lessons. For one thing, keep your guard up for a while. Even those who seem perfect are most likely not. Second, never buy the pillow talk. Ever.His feelings can change in a day. Literally. Thirdly, it taught me that a guy could actually think that I’m perfect. That I’m smart, sweet and attractive. All in one. The trifecta of a perfect boy. And lastly, I have realized that I have amazing friends. I can’t tell you how amazing it was that my friends either called me, texted me or indirectly sent me a message. It was something that warms my heart even still and makes me feel special. You never truly realize who cares for you until they’re put into a position that you need their support. That being said, I’m at the point where I can accept that I enjoyed my time with him and that it wasn’t meant to be.
29 October 2013
In my opinion, pillow talk is one of those things. Persuading someone that they have feelings for you in order to make advancements is straight up wrong. I feel like I’ve been a victim of that very recently. And today my suspicions were right, I was the subject of that thing he didn’t want to get into. Exactly what I was hoping wasn’t the case. It continues to blow my mind as to how someone could be so cruelas to sing your praises and talk about how great of a time they had and then make a complete 180 and say that they can’t get past one thing that they don’t even see as a pattern. At least give me the opportunityto show you that I’m not like that. But no, he just basically shut me out and had his mind made. Why do guys do this to people that have been nothing but great to them? It’s as though they can’t stand being happy and weren’t open to begin with. I just feel like I wasn’t given a fair chance, and for that, I am hurt.
28 October 2013
One week ago today, a guy walked into my life. We had an awesome time that first day. We walked around downtown and chatted comfortably and with no awkwardness at all. Then all week we’re texting and planning to see each other that weekend. Cute stuff, like how we can’t wait to see each other, but also serious things too. He came into town yesterday and we hung out all night, went out to dinner and watched a movie at my house. It was all literally perfect until his headaches began. These headaches led him to go home because he was in pain, which I have no problem with. But then it all seemed to change from that night forward. Even though he had said countless cute things while we were together, he was completely distant all day with little to no signs of anything. And then when I ask him if he’s okay, I get a “I’m not sure, I don’t exactly want to talk about it” message. I feel like its far and away too soon to be upset about something like this, but I can’t help but feel incredible pain and sadness over the thought of losing him so quickly. It just sucks when someone is telling you that you’re basically perfect the night before barely talks to you the next day, It just doesn’t make any sense to me.
27 October 2013.
THESE ARE MY FAVORITE ENGAGEMENT PICTURES EVER. I’m sorry for the spam……..but look at them. So cute! I dare anyone to look at these photos and tell me they shouldn’t have the right to get married.
So. Cute. This is what I want.